not doing enough

I have this desire to do more for Christmas. More, meaning different. But I feel trapped in what I am supposed to do, what I feel like I have to do and what we have always done. And with work and other routine I don't feel like I can do more or different. It would take time away from home. So I often get that feeling that I am not free. I must do what others expect of me. What I want to do is go find a purpose or some meaning in some other activity. The cliche, doing something for others. I always seem to have good intentions but then don't do it. But I do the little stuff. I try to be generous and do favors for others. I just wish I could do bigger things but I know the little things count too.

I called this journal purposejournal because I am searching for what God has in mind for me. He is preparing me for something and I thrill at the thought of it. I always ask what is the purpose of this or that in the big, supernatural, God inspired sense. He is always in control and I feel so secure in that. Ha, thus I don't get all warped over politics and the like. And speaking of God I need to go read the bible. Weak area for me often in doing it. I love His Word but don't always read it. Off I go now to do that.