friends

I have always had friends wherever I was. I have not really ever lacked for any except when I move somewhere and you have to leave behind the ones you have and make new ones. I usually don't have trouble making friends. I have many friends from throughout my life and great memories of many sociable and intimate times. When I moved to Alaska they came more slowly but that was due to the settings I was in or chose not to be in (choosing to stay home instead of getting out!) At my church when I was Catholic I really did not have friends but I knew lots of people and was involved. But no "friends." I had some friends around town from other sources and did things with people at work and others, but when I left the Catholic church and moved into my new church I prayed to God that I would be able to make some really good friends. Then I told Him, that it was okay. That He was enough for all my needs and that if it was His will I would make friends and I would just wait to see who He wanted me to be friends with. Well, I have been at my church now for 5 years and He has completely lavished me with friends. I have really good friends and more than I have time to see. Which is sad but my husband isn't real hip on meeting my "Christian" friends though he will if I want him to. Anyway, the purpose of this entry is to say that when you leave things in God's hands He will bless the heck out of you!! And he has. I look back over my life and He has just blessed me so much with so many friends. Some of my long-ago friends I don't see or hear from anymore and vice versa but I have the wonderful memories of our times together. And it's okay. His providing me with the friends I have at church now has comforted me so much through my marital wilderness. And I don't burden them with all that much but I can if I want to. And they pray for me and I pray for them. My non Christian friends and I don't talk about faith and this is a big hole for me in those relationships. I know I should be sharing about Christ but I don't. I still feel guarded since I know Marty would disapprove and because they might say something to him so I just don't. And also, it's because I am chicken. Now God will be there for me I know but I still worry about things I shouldn't. Truly I don't care if others change toward me if I talked as openly as I would like but I hold it in since I have to be in the closet somewhat. I do share some things at some times. But that is really a whole other topic for another time: witnessing. My good friends keep me grounded and we laugh and share so much. I love my women friends and what we mean to each other. But God is first in my life and without Him I wouldn't have them. He gave them to me as a gift to have while he perfects me in my marriage. And he gave me the gift of hearing about their marriages so I can learn. Thanks for that Jesus. You always know what I need and when I need it. I love you so MUCH!!!