When I am not writing in this journal I think of all sorts of things I want to remember to write about and then invariably when I have time to write all that changes. Like last week I was having a really hard time in this marital wilderness I am in and I really expressed it to God as I drove. I said I didn't know how much longer I could take it, my life like this. His insane way of communicating or not communicating, the fighting about dumb things, his victimness and stupid logic, etc. That is what I was going to write about. The pain of it all.
And then the weekend came and a completely out of the blue (well not really because it was God's response either to my prayer or He had it planned all the time) my husband decided he would go to a function at my church. I have been there over 5 years and he has never been inside. It was awesome that he agreed to go. I didn't even invite him but my daughter did and I think he went for her but either way it doesn't matter. He went. He met my friends, saw the church from the inside (it's a gym) and heard the gospet message. He took communion. He was respectful and didn't criticize when it was all over. There was an air of peace about him. It was God, all God all the way. It wasn't my husband. He once told me he would never set foot my church, ever. He once said he could never be close to me since I believed in the stories of the bible and they aren't "true" just stories.
Anway, it happened and who knows except for God what will happen if anything next. I am so grateful. It's something, it's more than I thought would be possible a couple days ago. My friends loved it. They prayed. They cheered for me. They all really cared. Marty could see what a great group of people they were. Maybe he will come with me just so he doesn't have to sit at his church all by himself so lonely. The atmosphere of my church is so much more to his liking anyway. Less formal. So only God knows but I treasure what He gave me in that one evening.
No comments:
Post a Comment