peace

This has been a hard week. Very overwhelming. Angry, non sensicle husband and daughter who just tests me until I am so exhausted. Sometimes I think my life is not so great but then I remember who I am (I am who God says I am) and it's okay but I don't want it to be so hard. My life with my husband is so challenging. I know God is perfecting me with both of them especially him. He has gotten so hostile and cold. How does a wife deal constantly with a husband who is angry, mean, verbally abusive, legalistic, anxious, insecure and hugely proud? I do envy other couples who just have a loving, calm relationship. I know many couples struggle but I know none do in the ways I do. My friends and family would be astounded if they saw into our house. His own family would be appalled at him. I feel so sorry for my daughter because she just wants him to approve of her, give her attention and laugh with her. That just doesn't happen much. When it does, she works so hard to capitalize on it and then won't lay off and then he gets mad. It could be another hard 7 years if it's anything like it was with daughter number one. Lord, help me is all i can say. And I do say that a lot. I can't ever imagine that Marty will turn to Christ but I know that he can if God wills it. I can't wait till that day which I know will happen because of March 26, 2003. maybe I will tell that story for the first time in the written word. Haven't done that yet.

Anyway, I have been overwhelmed with coping with work and family and details. Today was nice though because I worked outside the office and had some peace. I love peace. I don't like chaos or overstimulation or what my life has become at home. Peace is awesome after I felt my head would explode these last few weeks. All good things are from Christ and I love Him for it. Thank you.